Well my little baby is not so little anymore, coming up for seven months now. I ask the question, am I still me as I have found a definite dichotomy that comes with experience. On the one hand I have confidence, I'm in a routine, I know my baby, and I'm no longer, for the most part, running round in a blind panic. I've got it licked, sort of! So that's great but then on the other hand, I find myself living in a baby world. By this I mean, I know all the words to my baby's favourite TV shows, I even find myself singing them when baba's gone to bed whilst I'm doing the washing up or cooking the tea!
When I'm out and about with baba, I'm in baby world, it's hard not to be when you no longer have the independent use of your arms though, up hill and down dale I'll push that pram!
I also find myself when I'm tidying away baba's toys talking to baba about them. Now I know that's a good thing, I think you should engage with your child as much as you can; my point is though, it almost feels odd when I pick up a magazine for example or go out without baba; things I now realise I seriously took for granted before I had my baby.
I hope other mums or stay at home dads will understand what I mean. I imagine it's the same if you have any all consuming job, when you do something that's not related to the (baby) job, it feels a bit odd. I'm not for one second saying don't have 'you' time, it is vital for your sanity even if it is just a soak on a Saturday evening.
I'd never thought about this element of motherhood before I had a baby and whilst it's no issue, I do sometimes wonder whether I'll ever be able to switch on my 'career' brain again. Here's hoping!
