My baby is really developing at the moment, smiling, cooing, mobilizing their arms more, I'm proud as punch and at 3 months this is the stage that everyone tells you about the stage where they just get better everyday. I wasn't really aware (I write that a lot don't I!) how little a newborn actually does, poop, sleep and eat that's about it!
I write 'oh to be a Woman' as I'd underestimated just how much you develop a 'mothers ear' when you have a baby and how you can never quite relax in the same way as the male of the species. I shall explain.
Firstly there's the relaxing, my baby has practically started sleeping through whoo hoo I hear us all cry. It is great but as I'm still breastfeeding I'm still producing Milk and at 4am when baba is fast asleep they can be painfully full. That's me then getting out of the nice warm bed to express whilst Hubby continues his Zzz's.
I don't resent this, as I've blogged before my hubby is really helpful but every now and again I think 'I wish someone else could do this - even just once a week!' Alas no it is only I with the correct appendige. You may think 'why not just stop?' I did really struggle with it at first and I still have the odd day when I have a moan about (as I sure all breastfeeding mamma's do) but now I've come this far I don't want to give up just for the sake of 30mins or so out of bed. Thankfully I can sometimes get away with it until baba wakes up - presently around 5.30 for a quick feed and then back to the land of nod for another couple of hours (I'm very lucky I know!)
Secondly there's the mother's ear that I mentioned. In the animal world and I think it is true of human's too, women have the wider peripheral vision this is because we're the ones always on the look out when it comes to baba and I mean always. Not in the sense that you never sleep you'd go stark raving mad but in the sense that if baba stirs, you hear it, have a quick check and take the appropriate action if any. You soon get to know what noises are normal for your baby. Anyway I'm digressing, the point is, that my hubby once he's asleep, is asleep and will only wakes if baba is giving their lungs a serious work out. It's not just him though my Dad was the same and I know most men - possibly even all? are the same. Perhaps I need to train his brain and leave them on their own for a night or two, go and stay in a plush spa and drift into a 'Dad sleep'. Oh no wait, I can't. I'd still have to get up and express!
Oh to be a woman. ; )
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
It's a full time job
No matter what people say or how they may jest, looking after baba is a full time job, feeding, changing, settling, changing bedding, washing, sterilising, expressing (if you so choose to do so), immunisation/weighing appointments it all adds up. I for one never realised just how busy a new mum or even Dad can be.
Whilst it is said to be one of the most rewarding jobs you can ever do (& I agree), It can also be a thankless job (although I hear this continues well into the teenage years!)
There is also the pressure that particularly woman put on themselves to be the perfect homemaker as well as a mother. Part of this I think is that often babies have no 'end product' they can't reflect how hard you've worked all day particularly if you've had a mad tidy round at 4.30. My husband is very supportive but he can work long hours and as well as doing all the baby related tasks, I feel I need to tidy the house, cook the Tea, do the shopping and organise any jobs that need doing. He is very supportive and wouldn't I hope, ever say the dreaded 'and what have you been doing all day' but the thought looms ever present.
Why is this? Why the need to be a 'domestic goddess'? I think for many woman myself included it's what our mothers did (& seemingly effortlessly albeit seen through a child's eyes, it was probably anything but.)
Also as a working woman on maternity leave I feel a sense of self - induced pressure to make sure I am as busy in my new job as I am in my 'real' job. This I think links back to my original point that many people think that parenthood is a doddle and that whole 'hardest job in the world' is just a cliche.
It's funny though as I'm never usually someone who feels I have to justify who I am. The fact my baby is happy, healthy and growing out of their 'new baby' wear at a top rate should be all the feedback I need and I'd tell anyone else the same. Now if only I could convince myself of that...
Whilst it is said to be one of the most rewarding jobs you can ever do (& I agree), It can also be a thankless job (although I hear this continues well into the teenage years!)
There is also the pressure that particularly woman put on themselves to be the perfect homemaker as well as a mother. Part of this I think is that often babies have no 'end product' they can't reflect how hard you've worked all day particularly if you've had a mad tidy round at 4.30. My husband is very supportive but he can work long hours and as well as doing all the baby related tasks, I feel I need to tidy the house, cook the Tea, do the shopping and organise any jobs that need doing. He is very supportive and wouldn't I hope, ever say the dreaded 'and what have you been doing all day' but the thought looms ever present.
Why is this? Why the need to be a 'domestic goddess'? I think for many woman myself included it's what our mothers did (& seemingly effortlessly albeit seen through a child's eyes, it was probably anything but.)
Also as a working woman on maternity leave I feel a sense of self - induced pressure to make sure I am as busy in my new job as I am in my 'real' job. This I think links back to my original point that many people think that parenthood is a doddle and that whole 'hardest job in the world' is just a cliche.
It's funny though as I'm never usually someone who feels I have to justify who I am. The fact my baby is happy, healthy and growing out of their 'new baby' wear at a top rate should be all the feedback I need and I'd tell anyone else the same. Now if only I could convince myself of that...
Thursday, 4 November 2010
It does get easier
You may not think it when you're so sleep deprived you brush your teeth with your eyes closed (and that's if you actual get to brush your teeth before the day is out!) or its 3am and you have a very explosive nappy but it does. I am close to finishing the 3rd week of flying solo with baby (now that my husband is back at work) and whilst I still take each day as it comes, I truly have found the light at the end of the tunnel and with that, confidence. You just have to say to yourself, 'right I'm a mum now I can do this' coz chances are (unless you're very lucky and live in the same village as all your relatives, which I don't) the majority of the time you're all the little chap/chapess has got.
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Good Times
Well, its been nearly 6 weeks since I had my baby and I thought I'd share some of my experience and boy has it been an experience!
As someone who, like a lot of people had never even held a newborn and had no younger siblings I really did get a shock. I hope to give an insight into being a new parent and how my life changes on a daily/weekly basis and also to do something for me as I think whether your the mum or the dad, you have to set time aside for yourself. I don't buy into all this 'enjoy all your leisure time before the babies born you won't have any time later'. Less time yes, no time, not true.
As week 6 approaches I think I'm finally getting sorted, its true what people say though, your life changes forever when you have a baby, you may think 'yeh sure' but actually its true! I've never known emotion (hormones!) or sleep depravation like it but when I look at my baby I know it's all worth it, although in those first few weeks I'd be lying if I said I thought hat every minute of everyday ie at 4am when there not settling!
Today: I learnt the importance of getting out and about how a walk, fresh air, can really make a difference. I have also learnt to think outside the box, just because a book says this or that doesn't always mean its the best thing for you or your baby.
Everyday is different and you have to take each day as it comes. I am also learning finally, not to beat myself up if something didn't work out or I made a mistake, by in large there is no right or wrong, as long as you are doing right by your baby & by you and learn as you go. If all else fails, call the Dr/Midwife/Health visitor, they gave you their phones numbers for a reason, were not meant to know absolutely everything! (I may just need to remind myself of that last bit every now and again!)
- I enjoyed this hope to blog again soon : )
As someone who, like a lot of people had never even held a newborn and had no younger siblings I really did get a shock. I hope to give an insight into being a new parent and how my life changes on a daily/weekly basis and also to do something for me as I think whether your the mum or the dad, you have to set time aside for yourself. I don't buy into all this 'enjoy all your leisure time before the babies born you won't have any time later'. Less time yes, no time, not true.
As week 6 approaches I think I'm finally getting sorted, its true what people say though, your life changes forever when you have a baby, you may think 'yeh sure' but actually its true! I've never known emotion (hormones!) or sleep depravation like it but when I look at my baby I know it's all worth it, although in those first few weeks I'd be lying if I said I thought hat every minute of everyday ie at 4am when there not settling!
Today: I learnt the importance of getting out and about how a walk, fresh air, can really make a difference. I have also learnt to think outside the box, just because a book says this or that doesn't always mean its the best thing for you or your baby.
Everyday is different and you have to take each day as it comes. I am also learning finally, not to beat myself up if something didn't work out or I made a mistake, by in large there is no right or wrong, as long as you are doing right by your baby & by you and learn as you go. If all else fails, call the Dr/Midwife/Health visitor, they gave you their phones numbers for a reason, were not meant to know absolutely everything! (I may just need to remind myself of that last bit every now and again!)
- I enjoyed this hope to blog again soon : )
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